Blogs

7 THINGS TO LET GO OF THIS YEAR

By Chloe Carmichael posted 12-30-2022
What if you had made that one career move you’ve always wondered about? Spoken up more at last week’s meeting? Been less critical on that first date? Waited for him to initiate the relationship talk? Like many people, you may be familiar with several nagging what-ifs. Sometimes, they may even seem to run like a soundtrack through the back of your mind, never letting you fully relax into your true self. It’s time to let them go — now, for 2022. To help you, I’m blogging on the top things that I find hold my clients back, sharing powerful techniques to help you break through your roadblocks in your career and your relationships so you can hit the ground running ...

7 THINGS TO LET GO OF THIS YEAR

By Chloe Carmichael posted 12-27-2022
What if you had made that one career move you’ve always wondered about? Spoken up more at last week’s meeting? Been less critical on that first date? Waited for him to initiate the relationship talk? Like many people, you may be familiar with several nagging what-ifs. Sometimes, they may even seem to run like a soundtrack through the back of your mind, never letting you fully relax into your true self. It’s time to let them go — now, for 2021. To help you, I’m blogging on the top things that I find hold my clients back, sharing powerful techniques to help you break through your roadblocks in your career and your relationships so you can hit the ground ...

How to Survive the Holiday Season With Your Family

By Chloe Carmichael posted 12-12-2022
The holiday season is here, and while this can be a wonderful and joyous time it can also come with plenty of stress. If you’re lucky enough that your entire family is full of nothing but warmth and kindness (or at least courtesy ), then you may not even need to read this blog- congratulations ! However, many people who enjoy a larger extended family find there may be one person in the mix who maybe is “more difficult” . Even if you really love the person (in fact, sometimes especially if you really love the person), even minor conflicts can seem stressful. For many people, family dynamics can contribute to anxiety about holiday gatherings… ...

FREE SPEECH MAY BENEFIT MENTAL HEALTH: THE IMPORTANCE OF OPEN DIALOGUE

By Chloe Carmichael posted 11-28-2022
Free speech debates often focus on the mental health risks of bullying and hate speech- but they rarely consider the mental health benefits of freedom of expression. As a clinical psychologist, I believe that open dialogue outshines top-down censorship for those seeking wellness, authenticity, and growth. Dr Chloe's vlog on the Mental Health Benefits of Free Speech Caveat: Free speech does not prevent us from “censoring” certain voices in our own personal life: Whether it’s the proverbial toxic mother-in-law or a news website that seems rife with bias, none of us has an obligation to lend our ears to anyone or anywhere– but we ...

WHAT WE CAN LEARN FROM FAILED RESOLUTIONS + TIPS FOR SETTING SUSTAINABLE GOALS

By Chloe Carmichael posted 11-21-2022
The start of a brand-new year often inspires many of us to make resolutions. The sense of newness that a clean slate brings can be wonderfully energizing, and I'm all in favor of taking a boost anywhere we can find one. However, that same positive momentum can suddenly feel like it's working in the opposite direction as soon as the first setback occurs. That disappointment can trigger a spiral into self-criticism or just giving up altogether unless we know how to handle ourselves with both honesty and compassion. As a clinical psychologist and admittedly a lover of goals , I'm eager to share a few of my tips to help you find a healthy stride ...

WHAT TO DO IF YOU'RE ANXIOUS ABOUT SOCIALIZING AFTER QUARANTINE

By Chloe Carmichael posted 11-14-2022
Because I am a clinical psychologist, people ask me a lot of questions about mental well-being, both on social media and IRL. I recently invited my Instagram followers to ask me questions through the stories feature, and I received a number of responses. Here is one recent query that stood out: First of all, your feelings are normal! It's been a long time since many of us have socialized, so it's totally understandable that you might feel awkward starting it up again. While I don't want you to force yourself, if going to the grocery store feels truly impossible, what psychologists call "behavioral activation" might help you to take that first ...

WHAT IT MIGHT MEAN IF YOU LOVE (OR HATE) SCARY MOVIES, FROM A CLINICAL PSYCHOLOGIST

By Chloe Carmichael posted 11-07-2022
For some of us, nothing compares to a good horror film. We know it's fake of course, and perhaps that's why it can feel so liberating: We get to expose ourselves to the darkest, scariest side of human nature, without any actual fear of harm or guilt. But still, why would we enjoy this? And what does it say about us if we love (or hate!) horror movies? Each person and situation is different of course, but as a clinical psychologist, I have a few thoughts on potential reasons why some of us love nothing more than getting spooked out of our minds by a scary movie: 1. THEY GRIP OUR ATTENTION. For those of us who have a high capacity ...

HOW DID THE INSTAGRAM & FACEBOOK OUTAGE AFFECT YOU? (BE HONEST)

By Chloe Carmichael posted 10-31-2022
They say there's nothing like losing something to make you realize how special it truly is to you. Many of us experienced something similar during a recent outage on Facebook and Instagram—those trusty little "friends" suddenly disappeared for a few hours, and many people quickly realized how integral social media is to our lives. They're back now, but what can we learn from that brief time when they went offline? I think we can actually glean quite a lot. Let me begin by saying that after a long time of personally resisting it, I've come to appreciate social media for its potential. I'm also a psychologist on a mission to help people channel distress ...

HOW TO SUCCEED WITHOUT FALLING INTO PERFECTIONISM: 3 TIPS FROM A PSYCHOLOGIST

By Chloe Carmichael posted 10-25-2022
Many driven, intelligent people who want to "live their best life" are very interested in self-improvement. Their drive for excellence has a lot of positive aspects, but this healthy drive can also go into overdrive—making them vulnerable to perfectionism. Getting stuck in perfectionism can be demotivating and, ironically, become a barrier to creating the life they actually want. As a clinical psychologist and author working with clients who want to increase their well-being and reach their goals, I've encountered a lot of people who struggle to find the balance between striving for personal growth and getting lost in perfectionism. Here are a few quick ...

3 FACTORS THAT LEAD TO SUCCESSFUL & SUPPORTIVE THERAPY SESSIONS

By Chloe Carmichael posted 10-17-2022
Research has shown that for high-functioning people, a therapeutic alliance may be an even greater predictor of therapeutic success than the style of therapy being used. The therapeutic alliance is important for all therapy clients, but it may be especially important for high-functioning people—so let me unpack this for you. WHAT IS A THERAPEUTIC ALLIANCE? In layman's terms, the therapeutic alliance consists of the therapist and the client having the same goals for treatment, mutual belief in each other's ability to use th e rapy sessions to achieve those goals, and the presence of rapport between the therapist and client. ...

SIMONE BILES IS A ROLE MODEL FOR MENTAL FITNESS: 3 WAYS TO LEARN BY HER EXAMPLE, FROM A CLINICAL PSYCHOLOGIST

By Chloe Carmichael posted 10-10-2022
Simone Biles reminds us that mental fitness is vital. Her decision to withdraw from a recent event in the Tokyo Olympics to focus on her mental health was surprising to everyone—and very likely, even the gymnastics superstar herself. As a clinical psychologist, I recognize that this unexpected event spotlights that it can be brave to actually step away, even at moments of high reward. It also highlights the importance of self-care and boundaries—perhaps especially for those who aim high. I work with countless people who are driven, intelligent and often struggling with perfectionism. Through my experience, I've found it's essential to identify ...

HOW TO HARNESS THE HEALTHY SIDE OF ANXIETY, FROM A CLINICAL PSYCHOLOGIST

By Chloe Carmichael posted 10-03-2022
As a clinical psychologist, people often ask me how to " get rid of anxiety ." They are usually surprised to learn that anxiety actually has a healthy and essential function: to help stimulate preparation behaviors and provide us with the extra energy we need to carry out those behaviors. A little bit of anxiety can bring adrenaline and focus—which can actually be quite handy when we're in a "go time" situation like taking a test, bringing our A-game during an important presentation, or even getting ready for a first date or job interview. I've come to label this boost as "nervous energy," which can be a gift if we learn how to harness it. Exactly how ...

HOW TO DRINK MODERATELY

By Chloe Carmichael posted 09-26-2022
JUMP TO: Tips from Mindfulness Meditation for Moderate Drinking Enjoyment What to do with your observations Your drinking “sweet spot” Conclusion New York City is a city that loves to drink. We meet friends for happy hours, we eat at business dinners where a sommelier serves amazing wine, we go to trendy lounges that serve artisanal cocktails, we attend networking events with open bars, and many of us love a nice quiet drink with a delicious meal and a lively social scene seated at a restaurant bar. The beauty of it is that for many of us, all this drinking actually leads to great things: successful business dinners, mingling with ...

STARTING MY OWN BUSINESS- 5 LESSONS LEARNED

By Chloe Carmichael posted 09-21-2022
In May 2012, I was finishing my final licensing hours after six long years of full-time doctoral training. It was such a relief to be eligible for a good salary with benefits after all those years of squeaking by on student loans and credit cards. And so deciding to leave that full-time job to focus exclusively on my own practice was daunting , to say the least. I was terrified to leave the security of a stable job and regular paycheck, but I knew I had to if I were ever to realize my ultimate goal of building a private practice. So I decided to start small: I would try to get at least one client, just so that I could start working toward my dream. Fortunately, ...

THE MARRIAGE WHISPERER

By Chloe Carmichael posted 09-12-2022
As a practicing clinical psychologist, I have found that the best outcomes occur when the therapist and client are a “good fit.” That is part of the reason I employ a diverse staff of associates: to maximize the chance of a client finding a good fit. I recently spoke with two women who shared the same goal of getting married, but had very different circumstances and sets of obstacles to overcome. Take a look at their situations below, and you will see how oftentimes it’s more important that the therapist pays attention to the how and why of a single person’s story rather than the simple fact that they are single. This type of understanding is what ...

THE PATH TO MINDFULNESS PART 3: EMOTION AND THOUGHT AWARENESS

By Chloe Carmichael posted 09-06-2022
Mindfulness of thoughts and emotions gives us a “bird’s eye view” of what’s happening with ourselves and facilitates healthier perspective-taking. Issues are more manageable when we can observe them rather than just experiencing them without any sense of perspective. REAL-WORLD EXAMPLES OF MINDFULNESS AND MANAGEMENT OF THOUGHTS/EMOTIONS A simple example of basic everyday mindfulness is noticing that you’re so hungry your stomach has begun to ache. An infant will experience the pain of an empty belly and get lost in the experience and start wailing, whereas an adult can observe the experience rather than just react to the experience, ...

THE PATH TO MINDFULNESS PART 1: MINDFUL AWARENESS

By Chloe Carmichael posted 08-30-2022
Before I became a clinical psychologist I was a certified yoga teacher, so I have been studying mindfulness for years. The field of psychology has recently begun embracing the concept of mindfulness, and these days it’s common to hear the term being thrown around outside of mental health and wellness contexts. I consider mindfulness to be a crucial tool both inside and outside of therapy, but I find that many people don’t fully understand what it means and how to practice it. This series of blog posts will explain why I find mindfulness to be important, and how you can learn to use it to your benefit. We use the term mindful in the dictionary sense ...

A SECRET TIP FOR ANGER MANAGEMENT SUCCESS

By Chloe Carmichael posted 08-23-2022
This approach may surprise you, but it’s effective. Tanya didn’t exactly seem like a stereotypical anger management client: she was polished, polite, and successful. Not the sort of person you’d imagine losing their temper or having a wild outburst. To her credit, Tanya actually didn’t have wild outbursts of anger. She was more prone to sardonic snipes, passive aggression , and fits of quiet, seething contempt that she didn’t know how to process. “I try to tell myself to just forget things, take a deep breath, and not get so upset,” she said, “But sometimes it just doesn’t work.” What Tanya needed to learn is that one of the surprising-yet-helpful ...

SEVEN THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW TO OVERCOME NETWORKING NERVES

By Chloe Carmichael posted 08-17-2022
As a clinical psychologist in New York City who works with some of the city’s most professionally motivated and strategic social climbers (most won’t admit it until they’re safely ensconced in a confidential session at my office), it’s no surprise that many clients want to brush up on their networking skills. My clients are intelligent, driven people who want to get the best return on investment on the time and effort spent at networking events . An important starting point is to recognize that social norms are different at networking events . For example, although it is generally perceived as intrusive to just walk up to a group of strangers and introduce ...